The amount of anticipation I have to see @tuskthemovie on Friday is that of a 5 year old with unlimited Kool-Aid #WalrusYes

"My dog is like my child." is not a legitimate statement.

Will post-grad malaise show up on this drug test?

It’s like saying “Hey, don’t order a pizza because I’m really gonna want some if you do.” How can you tell someone no pizza?

Remember when you were 15 and saw Requiem for a Dream the first time and were like 96% sure nobody else had seen it yet?

I just found out The Flintstones was spelled with two Ts like a week ago.